{"id":9793,"date":"2016-02-19T11:00:01","date_gmt":"2016-02-19T16:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/?p=9793"},"modified":"2016-02-20T21:41:44","modified_gmt":"2016-02-21T02:41:44","slug":"not-up-my-alley","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/?p=9793","title":{"rendered":"Not Up My Alley"},"content":{"rendered":"

I had to go\u00a0to Boston<\/strong> for the day because I had a couple of medical appointments. My second appointment\u00a0was cancelled<\/strong>, so I had a lot of time<\/strong> to fill before my 11PM<\/strong>\u00a0train home to Portland<\/strong>. I had already planned\u00a0to see a film<\/strong> and then\u00a0have dinner<\/strong> with some friends. Both things were\u00a0fun<\/strong> but it was a really nutty day<\/strong> otherwise! (And the movie\u00a0wasn't technically<\/em>\u00a0"fun,"<\/strong> I guess.) You can skip down five or six paragraphs\u00a0for the more crazy, gay\u00a0stuff<\/strong> if you want.<\/p>\n

After my morning appointment I walked across the Longfellow Bridge<\/strong> to Cambridge<\/strong>\u00a0and sat in a Starbucks<\/strong> near MIT<\/strong> to caffeinate<\/strong> for the movie. (I had to get up at 5:30AM<\/strong> to catch the train. That's extremely<\/em> early<\/strong> for me, so I was pretty fucking\u00a0tired.<\/strong> Also, I had to fast for eight hours. Ugh.<\/strong>) I thought I\u2019d\u00a0pay my phone bill while I sat at Starbuck\u2019s wasting time\u00a0but my debit card was declined<\/strong><\/em>. Declined<\/strong><\/em> with a Verizon phone representative<\/strong>. Declined<\/strong><\/em> on their app<\/strong>. Declined<\/strong><\/em> on their web site<\/strong>. I had a large direct deposit just that morning and I was puzzled<\/strong>. I called my bank and was referred to the Fraud Department. The Fraud Department!!<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0It turns out it was nothing serious<\/strong>, though. They unblocked<\/strong> my card and I paid my bill. Still, I was kind of\u00a0humiliated<\/strong> that I had to do all of this inside<\/em><\/strong>,<\/em>\u00a0on the phone<\/strong>,<\/em> in a crowded coffee shop full of MIT geniuses<\/strong>,\u00a0because\u00a0it was pouring rain<\/strong> outside. But as my friend Karen<\/strong> said \u201cThey didn't even notice you<\/strong>, they all have Asperger's<\/strong> anyway.\u201d She was probably right<\/strong>. Having to do this in front of people<\/strong>, I'm sure, kept me from screaming<\/strong> at the bank, too, and who knows how\u00a0that would have ended. Not well<\/strong>. I think I\u2019m\u00a0counting a blessing<\/strong> or something like that.<\/p>\n

Since I was away from Portland<\/strong>, of course, I had all of my hook-up apps<\/strong> running. I'm of a certain age<\/strong> which somewhat limits<\/strong> my audience, so I have to really put it out there<\/strong>, if I want to see any action<\/strong>\u00a0at all\u2014and I do<\/em> want to see action<\/strong>.\u00a0I got a message on Growlr<\/strong> just before I left\u00a0for the theater.<\/p>\n

\"Misanthrope<\/p>\n

Innocuous<\/strong> enough, right? Just wait\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

I got to the Kendall Square Cinema<\/strong> and attempted to buy a senior ticket<\/strong>. Card declined again!<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0I like to get to the movies early, so I had time. I called the bank again<\/em>. I was\u00a0referred to the Fraud Department again<\/em><\/strong>. They said I had used\u00a0my card too many times<\/strong> in quick succession. I said\u00a0that it was declined the first<\/em> time!<\/strong> She had nothing<\/strong> to say. We finally figured it out.<\/strong>\u00a0Because I had\u00a0used the card multiple times in Cambridge and not Portland, their system flagged the card as stolen<\/strong>. OK<\/strong>. Will I have to go through this every<\/em> time I go out of town? I hope<\/em> not!<\/strong> Anyway, they unblocked<\/strong> the card again. I bought my ticket and a belly-busting\u00a0Coke Zero<\/strong>. There were no more bank problems that day.<\/p>\n

The film \u201cSon of Saul<\/a>\u201d<\/strong> was really great. It's not a lot of laughs<\/strong>, that\u2019s for sure, but it\u2019s\u00a0gripping<\/strong>. The cinematography is so striking and beautiful<\/strong>. It's a haunting, depressing, visually rigorous<\/strong> film. Absolutely perfect<\/strong> for me! Cinematographer M\u00e1ty\u00e1s Erd\u00e9ly<\/a><\/strong> also shot the depressing BBC series \u201cSouthcliffe<\/a>\u201d<\/strong> which is totally\u00a0worth three plus\u00a0hours of your time. \u201cSouthcliffe\u201d<\/strong> was Director Sean Durkin\u2019s<\/a><\/strong> follow-up to the stunning\u00a0\u201cMartha Marcy May Marlene<\/a>.\u201d<\/strong> I could go on down this rabbit hole<\/strong> of film associations<\/strong> but I\u2019ll spare you<\/strong>. Just look up Sean Durkin<\/a><\/strong> and\u00a0M\u00e1ty\u00e1s Erd\u00e9ly<\/a><\/strong>\u00a0and you\u2019ll thank me<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

I went back to the same\u00a0Starbuck\u2019s<\/strong> after the film, to meet\u00a0my friend Paul<\/strong>. He drove us to Harvard Square<\/strong>\u00a0to meet his partner Benny<\/strong> for beer and dinner<\/strong> at Charlie\u2019s Kitchen<\/strong><\/a>. I like Charlie\u2019s<\/strong> because the have my favorite beer, Steel Rail<\/a><\/strong> from Berkshire Brewing<\/a>.<\/strong>\u00a0Once\u00a0again<\/em><\/strong>\u00a0I made the mistake of starting my first beer before<\/em> the food arrived. I felt really trashed<\/strong> halfway through\u00a0my first beer. I should have known better<\/strong> but I always, always forget. I\u2019m old<\/strong>.\u00a0Oh well. We ate and talked and afterwards they gave me a ride to The Alley Bar<\/strong><\/a>. I had\u00a0fun<\/strong> but I was kind of useless<\/strong>\u00a0during dinner.<\/p>\n

I can't say I really like<\/em> The Alley<\/strong>. I met a really attractive<\/strong> guy there a few times for fun sex<\/strong> a while back. I also had one of the worst experiences\u2014of any kind<\/em>\u2014of my entire life<\/strong> there, causing me to miss<\/strong> a good friend\u2019s wedding<\/strong>. I\u2019m still sad<\/strong> about it. \u00a0You never fucking know<\/strong>. Anyway, the downstairs was kind of boarded up<\/strong> and only the upstairs was open. I\u2019d never been upstairs. It had obviously just been remodeled from the anonymous gay bar kit<\/strong>. Gross<\/strong>.<\/em> There are\u00a0less seats<\/strong> than there were at the downstairs bar and no service bar<\/strong> area, so it's more\u00a0difficult<\/strong> to get a god damned drink<\/strong>. Finally, I got a beer<\/strong> and took\u00a0a seat at an upholstered bench that seemed to be far, far away<\/strong> from the bar. The seat next to me was empty<\/strong>, or so I thought. Unfortunately, the guy had only taken a bathroom break. He was really something<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

He sat down and said hello. I responded in kind. He desperately<\/em>\u00a0wanted to talk to me about Donald Trump!<\/strong>\u00a0I declined<\/em>, saying that I don\u2019t talk politics<\/strong> to strangers<\/strong>\u2014or even friends, most of the time! He said \u201cYeah but\u2026\u201d<\/strong> I declined again<\/strong>, still politely<\/strong>. He tried again<\/em>. I just got up, said \u201cNo, really. I mean it,\u201d<\/strong> and walked away<\/strong>. He was completely baffled<\/strong>. I found a caf\u00e9 table far, far away<\/strong> from him. I realize as I\u2019m writing this\u00a0that maybe he had a joke<\/strong> that he was saving up<\/strong> for someone new<\/strong>. I don\u2019t care.<\/p>\n

Now, while\u00a0I was trying to not talk<\/strong> to this weirdo, an older man with a silver pony tail who was being very social<\/strong> around the bar was\u00a0trying really<\/em> hard to catch my eye<\/strong>. I was trying really<\/em> hard to avoid<\/em> his eye<\/strong>. I only had a short time<\/strong>\u00a0in town and I was on a mission<\/strong> to get laid<\/strong>. Otherwise, I might have been more social<\/strong>. Maybe. Maybe not. Anyway, I got another message<\/strong> on Growlr.<\/p>\n

\"Misanthrope<\/p>\n

It was Terry!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Terry\"<\/p>\n

That's him, there, on the left. I can\u2019t even tell you how angry<\/strong> I get when someone who\u2019s not<\/em> my friend says \u201cmy friend,\u201d<\/strong>\u00a0It\u2019s so\u00a0condescending<\/strong>. Those same people<\/strong>\u00a0always<\/em> seem to\u00a0address me as \u201cFrankie.\u201d<\/strong> No. Go away.<\/p>\n

My feeling, thinking about it later is that my rejection<\/strong> of the Donald Trump guy<\/strong>\u00a0got around this very cliquey<\/strong> bar at lightning speed<\/strong>, probably before I even walked across the room<\/strong> and found another place to sit! Now, I\u2019ll completely cop<\/strong> to being misanthrope<\/strong>. A proud<\/em> misanthrope<\/strong>, even. This asshole<\/strong> had no reason\u00a0to say so, though. Why? Because I didn't want to engage with him?<\/em>\u00a0Oh, please. Get. Over. Yourself. Mary.<\/strong><\/p>\n

At my new\u00a0seat, I was joined by a latino<\/strong> (should that be Latino<\/strong>?) \u00a0guy who was extremely<\/em> friendly<\/strong>. Again, I wasn't particularly interested in chatting with him. I\u2019m not much of a small talker<\/strong>\u00a0to begin with\u00a0and,<\/em> if I sit at a bar chatting with someone, my chances of getting laid drop immediately to near zero<\/em><\/strong>. I don't think I could have not looked at him\u00a0any harder or stared into my phone any harder<\/strong>. He just. Didn't. Get. It<\/strong>. Finally, I said that I\u2019d better go<\/strong>. He remembered that my train wan't until 11PM! Of course he did. Christ.<\/em><\/strong> I said, \u201cNo, really. I should go.\u201d I was in hell.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I went downstairs and stopped near the door to check my phone. Latino guy passed me on his way out and waved. Whew!<\/strong> I went back upstairs. Terry, who had undone his pony tail<\/strong>, continued to swan around<\/strong> the bar. I couldn\u2019t help feeling he was doing at least some<\/em> of it for my benefit<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

I finally left the bar around 9:30<\/strong> to walk to the train station<\/strong>. It wasn't a long walk<\/strong> but leaving and spending some time at North Station was definitely\u00a0preferable<\/strong> to being in this place any longer<\/strong>. Ten minutes before my ETD\u00a0I got another message from the indefatigable<\/em>,<\/strong> and obviously obsessed<\/em> Terry<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\"Misanthrope<\/p>\n

I was already on the train, still\u00a0drunk<\/strong>. The train was full of either Celtics<\/strong> or Bruins<\/strong> fans (I can\u2019t tell) and I couldn't sleep. It seemed like an endless<\/strong> ride. My cab driver in Portland was adorable<\/strong><\/em>, though! Thanks A.S.A.P Taxi!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Maybe the next trip<\/strong> will be more productive<\/strong>. Probably not<\/strong>, though. Sigh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I had to go\u00a0to Boston for the day because I had a couple of medical appointments. My second appointment\u00a0was cancelled, so I had a lot of time to fill before my 11PM\u00a0train home to Portland. I had already planned\u00a0to see a film and then\u00a0have dinner with some friends. Both things were\u00a0fun but it was a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[44,429,17,291,50,48],"tags":[497,280,489,570,572,571,569],"class_list":["post-9793","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-boston","category-cruising","category-gay","category-highstrungloner","category-online","category-travel","tag-boston","tag-cruising","tag-gay","tag-gay-bar","tag-misanthrope","tag-sociopath","tag-the-alley"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2ccTA-2xX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9793","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9793"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9793\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":9848,"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9793\/revisions\/9848"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9793"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9793"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.highstrungloner.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9793"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}